Friday, December 20, 2013

Mother Gothel

Ya thats me or as Olive referes to me when I get into mean mom mode. Today I lost my shit like full on freak of nature DONE! It's been building so it wasn't like a big surprise. The combination of Otto being up a lot at night mixed with Blake getting home late, leaving early all on top of a three year old who could make a grown man cry. Being a mom, man its hard. The lack of sleep has made my eating shitty. You know when you have a hangover and immediately down a grilled cheese or the greasiest unhealthy food possible? Ya well thats how I've been lately. When I'm tired I eat like shit, it's simple. When I eat like shit I don't workout. And when I don't workout I don't get to punch bags and get all my angst out. So ya don't piss me off. So today I lost it. I screamed and I screamed. Olive got so annoyed at me that she said she was going to bed. And dammit that is just what she did. I think we both needed the break from eachother. When she wakes up I want to start fresh and just try to not be a psycho. So ya things need to change meaning I need to suck it up and get back to my normal way of eating/working out so I'm not a total shit head to my kids and a miserable human. The holidays in general are just nutty so the combination has been a bit hard. The new year is always a good time for a fresh start so looking forward to that.

Now that I'm back to writing this post hours later we survived the day. We got to dance with no tears and Otto slept the entire time. It was magical. Both kids are in bed and my house is quiet besides my snoring dog. I'm trying to find the energy to watch Nashville which is my most recent guilty pleasure. I need bad tv in my life.

So yesterday I was interviewed by this women who is writing her thesis on breastfeeding. I figured it would be fun and maybe interesting which it was. She asked me a bunch of questions and it was pretty fun to share my view of everything. I like to talk about things I feel passionate about although putting things into words that make sense isn't my strength. It's also interesting as sometimes when I'm asked things on the spot my answers are kinda something that I didn't totally see or think about ever. She asked me a question, something about why I breastfeed or along those lines and I just busted out with this whole thing about it making me feel confident and positive because I don't work it kinda gives me this confidence of doing something meaningful. I have honestly never actually put that together in my head but it just came out. Ok so maybe that is totally selfish but obviously the health benefits and it being free are most of the reason but the question was more geared towards what it gives me or something.  Anytime I get personal I always feel like I see a different side of myself. I'm highly over emotional these days so maybe I just thought too much about it. Go go boobs.

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Blake's mom got us an elf on the shelf. His name is Kooky Kooky. 

Pee Wee Christmas Special. A big deal around here.