Tuesday, March 25, 2014

buzz buzz

My mind has been going in circles all day. Arg I still blame spring for my cloudy head and angry/emo mood. I can't quite get myself out of it. Today was gloomy and not at all helpful for that kinda mood. Otto and I dropped off Olive at school at 8:30 and spent the entire day running around doing errands. It was exhausting but I feel accomplished. And I got a run in so it was pretty good. Being home is starting to become pretty tricky. There isn't enough of me for both kids. While Olive has these amazing bursts of independent alone time playing dolls or coloring she also spends most of the day wanting to play or going a hundred miles an hour. We go from puzzles to coloring to playing dance class to playing school. She is so into role playing and dressing up. Everything is a character or made up person. It's hysterical. We have dance parties, tea parties (she is obsessed with drinking chamomile tea) and endless amounts of art projects. This is a normal afternoon for us. I love it. And damn I put on a fine tea party but I also have a tiny little human crawling up my legs and demanding for me to hold him allllll day. I remember Olive doing this at his age too. He's figuring it all out right now. There are times I can leave him in the playroom and he will go around and play with a ton of toys, destroy this and that, climb something, or find like the one scrap of paper hidden behind a chair. There is balance sometimes but when he wants me there is nothing else he will accept. I mean obviously it's the sweetest thing ever but the balance of two is hard sometimes. As soon as I think I have it figured out one of them changes. It's good but I get tired both mentally and physically. Mom life is pretty crazy stuff.

Lately I've just really been focused in on every little thing they do. I don't know if it's that sometimes the fact that I can really see Olive becoming a big kid scares me or that I'm not sure we will have more kids and this will be my last whatever stage it is. So many things going on in my head. It's funny how many times I've been asked if we are going to have another. Before Otto was born I was sure three was a good number. After Otto was born I was thinking we were pretty done. Those first few months of finding balance and so many sleepless nights made us pretty sure we were done. Then here we are today. While Otto is getting harder and harder and way busier he's losing that baby. He's getting close to walking and he's talking like crazy these days. He's not a little baby anymore and I get so sad. Not a day goes by that I don't think to myself if I'm done. Unfortunately I'm on a time schedule since I'm older. Gosh what I would give to be like 4-5 years younger and have a few years to take a break. I would absolutely want one more. While financially it's out of the question and totally irresponsible I don't want to have any regrets as were dealing with a time sensitive matter here.  Two is nice, it's neat but every single thing about me loves chaos and a bit of a mess. Three is unbalanced and chaotic and just sounds perfect. Blake on the other hand is done but he can be convinced otherwise :) It's hectic, busy, chaotic, and amazing all at the same time.

Today I really focused in on Olive and just watched her problem solve. She's also been really good at that but lately it's been on another level. She's putting things together and not just simple things but bigger grand ideas. It blows my mind. When I watch her I think to myself she just gets it. Life is full of princesses, made up everything, and just being a kid. Today she made a kite out of paper. While I was feeding Otto she manged to pull the table over to her bead box, pull it down and get a string. She spilled all the beads but when I got back from feeding Otto it was all cleaned up. I was impressed. She got tape and attached the string to the kite. We went outside and she ran back and forth flying it. Probably a good 30 min in and out of the house playing with a piece of paper. Kid life is rad.

This is a picture of my brother. I totally see it. 

A quickie park trip before we got sprinkled on. 

The cheerleader. 

He is obsessed with eating my face like a zombie. 

Olive just ran by me and threw this on my head. 

Olive's photo. 

My new favorite app EVER. (Animal face)

This guy is becoming quite my little eater. Tofu, avocado, and cottage cheese.

Sunday, March 23, 2014


The weekends always fly by so quickly. I am so not ready to face the week. I feel exhausted. I'd love one night of good sleep and perhaps even some sleeping in. Otto has been stuck on a 2am and 4am wake up. I've been trying to drop one of them but he isn't having it. While I let him fuss he's certainly a stubborn little guy and after awhile I get annoyed stating at the monitor and just go in there. The thing is he is actually eating even if its just for a few min. I actually don't totally mind just a bit worried about this weekend when I leave him for the night. Major anxiety about that. I'm hoping he will just have a miracle sleep through the night just one night! I know we should test out a bottle for a night feeding but we haven't and I can't see Blake motivated to do that so we shall see. He takes a bottle fine during the day but the night time is a whole different deal. On the other hand I am so looking forward to a day with my friends and doing nothing but swimming and drinking ALL DAY! I was in quite a weird funk last week and I blame my face for breaking out like a teenager. Amazing how acne can ruin your mood. I was pretty antisocial and didn't really want to do shit except go running. I actually ran three times last week and it felt amazing. I've hit a weird 3 mile plateau with running, like I can't get over that distance. This week my goal is 3.5-4 miles. I do a combination of running and walking, kinda depends on the day and the mood of Otto. I'm not a good runner so these last few months have just been me learning and trying to slowly push myself. 

The tiniest couch and everyone wants to sit here. 

Always waiting for something to drop. 

When he can't grab something he just goes for it with his mouth. Resourceful. 

Always my dinner date. 

(Fake) meat endive tacos, rice, beans, and tortilla chips. So so good and light for summer. 

Jelly shoes and a charm necklace. So 80's. 

I have NEVER seen this before and it was one of the most amazing things ever, like mind blowing. I don't even  understand how a critter can be this incredible. Also I was totally sure it was going to charge me but I didn't even care it was so pretty. 

Stare down. Also the chickens think they are dogs, they sit in front of the door and just watch us. 

Steak, asparagus, and purple potatoes. There have been a lot of bbq meals lately. 

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He only plays with things that are not toys. Seriously not joking. 

First day of spring and we had a yummy picnic and played in the park for hours.  

Purple potato face. 


Tea Party. 

Woodchips!! Why?????

Serious dance party. 

Portabello stuffed shrimp, rice, and roasted golden beets with goat cheese. 

Patient pup. 

Handful of babes. 

New cape. 

The fam. 

Adventures in opening a coconut. Blake made coconut milk but I haven't tried it. Fun fact, I HATE coconut everything. 

He is so close to standing on his own. My guess is he will walk at 10 months. 

This might be the first time Sierra has ever let Olive touch her. She even rolled over so she could rub her belly. 

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Avocado party. 

Fro yo. 

Her outfit is something else.