Otto is ONE

Pizza, popsicles and the beach to celebrate Otto. Otto turned one and he did it in style. He thrashed his smash cake and ate 3 popsicles. It was a really good day and I feel insanely lucky to have such wonderful people in our lives who love him so much to be there. Everyone seemed to have such a good time especially Otto!

We have "real" photos but who the hell knows when we will get to them so for now this kinda sums up the party.

wine + ice cream

Olive's fever is making itself quite comfy. I took her to the dr this morning and she seems to have a virus. I mean I probably could have guessed that but this was the first sick where she has had a fever for 3 days. It's been a long day so far. I get antsy when I don't get out, mostly irritable which results in me being an asshole and having zero patience with the kids. We missed one of Otto's friends birthday parties this am which I am super sad about because all my friends were there and man oh man do I need them for sanity. We also had tickets for X and Bad Religion tonight and we were taking Olive but she is way too sick to go. I am so sad as she would have loved it. I think last time Blake and I had tickets to a concert a kid was sick. Maybe live music just isn't meant to be. Luckily Blake was able to take his parents and use the tickets so at least they will have a good night. Meanwhile I'm being super emo and pissed at the world cause I'm hungry and beyond tired.

Olive has been a trooper with the sick. She mostly just wants to be left alone which is fine but Otto has other plans. As soon as she gets cozy on the couch he pretty much body slams her. I mean its not all day but she is irritable which I totally get. Otto is sensing my stress and being extra needy. If I'm not carrying him around we are reading. It's his new favorite thing. We pile books up and read them over and over. He has a few favorites but he wants them over and over. I love it so much but the second I get up to get water or pee he freaks out. It's just been a long ass week and I'm burnt out. I am very ready for the weekend.

Obviously all of these things are out of my control which I think is still something I am trying to learn. I know it sounds simple but it's not. I can be the most zen person on the planet for the most stressful things but when my plans change or I'm thrown off I freak. This is the Sagittarius in me. I've mentioned my new found soul searching in astrology and I am learning so much about myself. It's made me more aware of things and closer to accepting them or changing them (the negative things) but I also think I've focused on the positive. Maybe its all bullshit but I'm finding something to grasp on to and its good. I'm just having trouble finding certain calm areas in my life because I feel misunderstood and unappreciated. I don't feel like any of my needs or wants are acknowledged or taken seriously. So ya that gets annoying. I complain when really its about doing and making changes but baby steps. Part of it is I just can't find the chance to breathe or catch up on anything and I'm constantly feeling behind or like I have a pile of shit to do. So excuse me while I eat ice cream for dinner and chase it with a glass of wine......

Finally back to running. Trying out new trails. 

He makes everything dangerous, everything! 

Breakfast of champs. 

Fake meat, black beans, grilled peppers, avocado, and cotija cheese tostada. I went through a pretty shitty cooking phase but I'm feeling super inspired lately so maybe I will post more photos......

Bed of nails. So goth. 

Ok I know this looks NASTY as shit but it was delicious. Salmon with a homemade pesto sauce. I have a basil plant that is going crazy so I made a big batch. How did I not do this earlier? Pesto and salmon were meant for each other. Cous cous and sautéed kale with a lemon garlic dressing. 

Otto likes to eat his food and then help himself to Olives leftovers. Kid has a hell of an appetite. 

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We made pretzels. I still have my wetzel pretzel making skills from when I worked there at 16.