Monday, January 4, 2016

2 0 1 6

I'm back. Who knows for how long. This morning I woke up and I was thinking about this blog and what an amazing little space its been throughout the last 6 years. I get excited and nervous that I will have some place to look back at and see how I've grown or maybe how I've changed or maybe not changed at all. Whatever it is, it's here. It's a new year which I guess seems fitting to come back here. This year instead of resolutions we made intentions. In a sense its the same idea but I guess a little less pressure. A kinder to yourself approach to making changes. I had a really hard time coming up with something. I think because my mind was just buzzing with so much holiday hangover. The one thing I haven't been the last few weeks is grounded to any thoughts. It's temporary. Olive has been out of school, our routines have been off, we've been traveling, so ya it's been a lot. Anyways the one I came up with, yes the only one so far is to be fearless. Vague as hell I know but over the past year I feel like the one thing that has held me back is fear. It could be a totally simple thing or like a major life change but I realized that fear and I really have a hard time. I may not conquer it this year but that's why it's an intention.

Soooooooo on that note I start my training to become a yoga teacher in 2 weeks. Yep me with all my phobias about public speaking getting up in front of a class and talking. But on the flip side I am so so so so so excited. I feel like yoga and meditation has made such a big change in my life that I want to understand more. I want to see where it can take me. I love shit that doesn't have an end. Like with yoga I can get ok, maybe even amazing but physically there is like this crazy journey it can take you on. You can always improve on it. Also mentally and spiritually, I feel like the more I understand myself and find peace and quiet in my mind the more I can understand about literally every aspect of my life. I want people to feel that. I also need to be creative, It's the one thing I miss about not being a real photographer anymore. I feel like this will help with that. I've pushed that need to the side for so long and I think it's time to chase it, just down a slightly different path. I have no idea where this will lead me but I'm doing it! I think I kept waiting for something to happen or for something to change and it didn't. It can't, thats not realistic. I had to figure something out. Logistically this is insane, I mean financially it's crazy for us and adding babysitters on top of that is nuts. BUT I feel like it's also an excuse. If I sat here and didn't make some sort of effort towards my happiness then isn't that worse? So I'm gonna yoga my little heart out and take it all in. And fingers crossed I don't puke cause I'm so nervous speaking in front of a class.

Cheers to 2016!!!

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