Obviously I've been MIA on this blog. I would come on and not know what to write or when I started writing it didn't feel good. I feel like my Instagram has been this journal of my daily life and for the time being that felt right. It wasn't all the bad stuff but the cute moments and I'm ok with that.
I've had a sorta strange month. Strange in a good way. This last year has been this crazy journey or finding some sort of balance with my life in parenting and most important a happiness in myself. I think things would happen in my life and I would just let them but now I'm feeling and seeing more. It feels fantastic and scary and amazing.
A few weeks ago a family friends grandfather died. I was close to him as a kid as we vacationed together but as life went on I barely saw him. He was one of those people that took life by the balls and truly enjoyed what he did and who he was. I will always remember him being the funniest man. He had so many hysterical sayings that a lot of people spoke about at the memorial. As a kid they didn't mean much to me but as an adult it was like holy shit this guy just totally nailed life. I was talking to his son and he mentioned something he had said about surrounding yourself with good people that make you happy. It was more involved but that was the jist of it. It wasn't some deep poetic quote by any means. It was honest and so true for the timing. It sat with me for days and I think it's changed something in me.
I think as we get older there are people in our lives that we think we need because they've been there for so long not because they make us feel better or make us better people. I've held on to a few of these people and I have no idea why. They drain me and they sure as shit don't get who I am or support who I want to be. It's complicated to just end a friendship but now I think I feel this peace in knowing the people that I do want in my life. I think I'm putting more effort into those friendships. The ones that make me feel totally happy after a phone call or a hang. I've decided if I don't feel good after taking to someone it's not worth my time. I don't have a lot of time in the day so I for sure want to spend it with the ones that make me happy. This all sounds so simple but it's not. Life is filled with bullshit and we all get caught up in it. No one deserves to be drained only lifted up. Even lately there have been some friendships that have come into my life that are so exciting and different. You're kinda never too old to make friends and sometimes people come in at different times for different reasons. I totally believe that. I'm learning to trust myself more and I kinda love that.
Surround yourself with good people not shit heads that make you feel crappy!