kicking alien

So I'm sitting on the couch and I feel the little bugger kicking around. Its pretty intense so I pull up my shirt and stare at it for awhile cause this is much stronger than normal and I can actually see my belly move when it kicks. By far the craziest shit I've ever seen. Its super alien like. I'm seriously in shock, just so cool. Oh and here is a photo taken today. I'm getting massive.

fine I'll wear maternity clothes

I really really tried to avoid the whole maternity clothing thing. I think in the beginning I didn't really realize how fast I would grow and what other parts would bulge out too. My hips have for sure gotten wider so its not so much my pants don't fit around the belly as they won't fit over my hips. So fine I decided to go shopping the other day and came up with some pretty cute things. I wouldn't buy them if I wasn't pregnant but they aren't hideous.
This first find isn't maternity but I think I should be able to wear it for the rest of the pregnancy.I have them on today and they are super comfortable. And for $20 you can't really go wrong.

http://www.uniqlo.com/us/explorer.html#/code:061616-002-09/



http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=6932&vid=1&pid=749766&scid=749766002

http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=7275&vid=1&pid=749720

http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=40114&vid=1&pid=749813&scid=749813002


I also got some shorts and a skirt from old navy but they aren't online. Trying not to buy too much and just a few basics to make my own but its hard cause I still wanna dress like me. So glad I will be really pregnant in summer and can wear a ton of dresses.

More Blogs I like

http://www.justbyliving.com/2010/05/happy-tears-in-coffee-shop.html

I just started following this blog but I really like it. This post especially was great. I think sometimes I find myself thinking about my life and what it will be like with a baby. Obviously this was talked about a lot before we decided to try but I think the reality of it and the funny talks over breakfast are totally different then standing here with a big belly and hospital bill filling your mailbox. Sometimes I worry if it was the right time. I think about traveling and that maybe I didn't do everything I wanted to do. I think about money especially. Can we really provide for this child when we both live paycheck to paycheck as artists? I look at a lot of my friends who have houses, steady income, and a plan and I wonder did I fuck up somewhere? Am I supposed to have all this too? Then I realize Blake and I did things totally different, it wasn't wrong just different. We chose to move to NY, to enjoy our lives and also do what we wanted (photography) and not sit in a shitty office and bitch about co workers and bosses. In that sense we are lucky but we've also had a lot of tough times where we didn't know how we would make it through the month. Stability vs happiness is a tough one. Can't a girl have it all?
All these things have gone through my head a bazillion times but I always come back to the place where I feel so lucky that I am experiencing everything I am right now. I have the most amazing husband a girl could ask for, wonderful friends, and a super supportive family. I've been so lucky to have traveled the world and seen the things I have. Plus I lived in NY and a lot of people can't say that. I've done what I wanted but I'm also a really ansy person so I always want to do more. I know having a baby won't stop me but I also do know my life will change.
I don't really know the point of blabbing but the post I read made me happy and I think the bottom line is we are all choose how to live our lives and one way or the other is not better.

Neato Blog

http://www.newscientist.com/topic/bumpology

Blake found this blog the other day and I'm fascinated by it! The video from today is crazy. I can't believe that is happening in my body too!

Half way there

Every time I say that I think of the Barry Manilow song "Half way over the Hill." Ya embarrassing I know.
Anyways I think I'm at week 20 or 21. I dunno. Its all confusing but will be cleared up at my next ultrasound. My midwife is trusting that I kept track but I could of been off by a few days. Either way I'm half way there! It's exciting that in 20 more weeks I'm going to have an actual baby. HOLY SHIT! I also can't believe that I'm going to have a huge bump for 20 more weeks. I can't say I love being pregnant. I always hear people talk about how much they love being pregnant and how wonderful they felt. I dunno I call bullshit on that. I mean I'm not puking up my breakfast or anything like that and I do actually have energy but I'm carrying 10 extra pounds (or something around that) I'm 5'1, 10 extra pounds is a shit ton of weight for a little one like me. Plus my back hurts a lot. I suppose from the extra weight. Ok I'm not complaining I'm so excited to be a mom but I don't know about this whole glamorized pregnancy thing.

Things I shouldn't of done today

Tried on bathing suits at Target. Yikes! Thanks to the surrounding mirrors in the dressing room I could see it all. Fat is growing in places that I never expected. On a good note I did get a cute bathing suit top but I think bottoms are going to be a big problem. Not that I'm actually going to skip around on the beach but I do plan on going to the beach and pool (but covering up).

fake shopping is fun

I've been on the babies r us site a dozen times and the same thing happens every time. I get completely overwhelmed and leave the site. I've managed to register for a breast pump and a boppy and that's it. We still don't know the sex yet so that makes it a little difficult since a lot of stuff is either pink or blue. I've been trying to find some sites that are a little more my style and I just came across Dwell Studio.

The prints are super modern and adorable. So far I found 2 that I love (depending on the sex of course) Although maybe the first can be for either. Anyways there are a bunch of other prints of love but these were my favorites......

http://www.dwellstudio.com/designer-baby-boutique/nursery-bedding/owls-sky-crib-set.html



http://www.dwellstudio.com/designer-baby-boutique/nursery-bedding/sparrow-lilac-crib-set.html