Friday, May 7, 2010

More Blogs I like

I just started following this blog but I really like it. This post especially was great. I think sometimes I find myself thinking about my life and what it will be like with a baby. Obviously this was talked about a lot before we decided to try but I think the reality of it and the funny talks over breakfast are totally different then standing here with a big belly and hospital bill filling your mailbox. Sometimes I worry if it was the right time. I think about traveling and that maybe I didn't do everything I wanted to do. I think about money especially. Can we really provide for this child when we both live paycheck to paycheck as artists? I look at a lot of my friends who have houses, steady income, and a plan and I wonder did I fuck up somewhere? Am I supposed to have all this too? Then I realize Blake and I did things totally different, it wasn't wrong just different. We chose to move to NY, to enjoy our lives and also do what we wanted (photography) and not sit in a shitty office and bitch about co workers and bosses. In that sense we are lucky but we've also had a lot of tough times where we didn't know how we would make it through the month. Stability vs happiness is a tough one. Can't a girl have it all?
All these things have gone through my head a bazillion times but I always come back to the place where I feel so lucky that I am experiencing everything I am right now. I have the most amazing husband a girl could ask for, wonderful friends, and a super supportive family. I've been so lucky to have traveled the world and seen the things I have. Plus I lived in NY and a lot of people can't say that. I've done what I wanted but I'm also a really ansy person so I always want to do more. I know having a baby won't stop me but I also do know my life will change.
I don't really know the point of blabbing but the post I read made me happy and I think the bottom line is we are all choose how to live our lives and one way or the other is not better.

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