Spring

Tomorrow is a new day. I just keep telling myself that. Today sucked. Plain and simple. I felt like I just couldn't win with Olive. I tried so hard and it was just battle after battle. She was picking on Otto all day. She probably made him cry at least 15 or more times. The attitude oh the attitude. I haven't cried from being frustrated in a long time and I just lost it today. All her princess dresses are in the garage. I took dance class away from her too. She was really bummed out about it for like 10 min then she went outside and played by herself for like an hour like nothing happened. I've pretty much lost control with her and I'm at a loss. We've been working with a sticker chart and it felt like it was working for a second but clearly she could give a shit. And bedtime  oh man what a joke. It's over an hour of these crazy almost barfing screams. She's fake crying so she's being extra dramatic about it. It's hard as I don't want to wake up Otto. I'm not sure where I went wrong with my kids but sleep is not one of their strong suits. In between all the ugly she is just so so smart. Like sometimes it's scary. She does not act like a 3 year old or even a 4 year old. Her imagination is unreal and she is so much fun and holy shit is she cleaver. I guess with this comes the crazy.  She has bits of sweetness in there. She will hug Otto nicely or give him a kiss when she isn't tackling him of course. And she will snuggle with me and tell me she loves me. Gosh I love all those moments but sadly with her the bad has taken over. When you are dealing with someone so strong willed and so determined it's hard.

I know my shitty attitude and mood didn't help the day as I was feeling crappy from the moment I got out of bed and totally on edge. It was mostly my fault as I didn't want to leave the house today. I could barely get dressed I was so upset today. Being home just doesn't work for us. I get bored which makes me pissy and irritable. Tomorrow we need out. We need fresh air and sunshine. I need to start over. I realized today my mood (obviously combined with my shitty financial situation) is for sure because the seasons changing. I've written about this before but I get so damn affected by the change even when it's not crazy obvious. I dunno I need to blame it on something. Tomorrow we start fresh and happy!