to the moon.

Today was quite the lazy day. It was rainy and cold so I knew we were not going to do much which is totally fine. We did get out of the house for a few hours to play in the park (before the rain) and try out a new music class but otherwise we spent the rest of the afternoon at home cuddled on the couch. We watched a lot of Pee Wee Herman, Dora, and Lalaloopsy. Some days like that are not so bad. We had the fireplace on and in between snacks we played games and danced. We pretty much have a dance party daily. My new favorite Pandora station is David Bowie (seriously try it). Olive's new thing is to ask what the song is if she likes it. Today a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song came on and she went nuts over it. That and the kid loves Blondie. I spent some time in the kitchen making Rosemary Focaccia Bread and Butternut squash soup which was pretty fun and nice because Olive kept busy for a bit on the ipad. Some days are just ok like that. Today I really thought about the fact that our days together of just the two of us are almost over. I mean we get to add another one and make it even better but it's always been just us and I feel a little sad thinking that will change. I know she is beyond excited to have this little guy come and she is going to be amazing but I can't help but look at her and get a little sad since no matter what she will always be my first baby. Ug I'm such a mom.

I've felt a bit tired and overly neurotic lately. For the last week I've been waking up around 2am and just staring at the ceiling. All these crazy fears and wacky thoughts are going through my head. I know its just my emotions being heightened by the pregnancy but I think adding one more person in this world you are solely responsible for is a lot to handle. It sounds so dramatic but the truth  is sometimes I am overcome by all this fear. Like I freak out cause there is so much crazy shit happening in this world and I get scared. I mean I guess I've always been a little freaked out by it but now it keeps me  up at night. I think since having kids I've paid more attention to the world around me and not that I lived in a naive bubble before but when you don't have kids you just live.  I watch the news more now, I never used to watch the news. It was part of my punk rock fuck the world attitude not to but now I feel like I need to know everything. This year alone there has been some major batshit crazy people out there and I'm scared, I'm scared for Olive and the baby and for me and Blake. Am I a little crazy?? I dunno maybe but this world is nuts. Just today there was some nutjob that shot 4 people, all of who were innocent and just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. This was in my neighborhood too. I mean really??? Sometimes I just want to live on the moon........

Now that I sound like a complete psycho I think I will just post some photos and leave it to that.

monday dim sum. perfect pregnant/toddler food. 

"don't touch my tea."

her room is almost done. need to fill in the blank frames, get a nightstand, and paint that ugly dresser but I'm quite pleased. 

i was/am quite a daredevil but this was probably the first thing she did that scared the shit out of me. This rock was really big and she just climbed it like it was no big deal. 

this face makes me a pretty happy mom. 

she told me she had a baby in her belly. the things she was saying were hysterical. 

i was so impressed to hear her counting so well and then i turned around to see she was counting all the stickers she put on my car. errrr

our first time playing memory the right way with all the cards. normally i put them face up and just match but i felt like she needed a challenge. she did really good for a few rounds till she decided it was time for the cards to go to the market. weird kid. 

i swear this was really good but looks sorta nasty. butternut squash soup, rosemary focaccia, and artichoke. 

just about to go in the oven. 

post dinner skate session. 

stuffed with baby

Hello sunday which is actually like a saturday since its a holiday weekend. Yay for that. On saturday we got a super warm day. We didn't hesitate to get to the beach and enjoy. It felt amazing. Vitamin D in this body is much needed. Sadly it cooled down today and the rest of the week we are back to winter. We went on a mini hike today. Hiking with a toddler is still a bit tricky. She wants to be held a bit more then she walks but we managed and it was pretty fun. Just good to get outside and do something different. This week has been a bit rough on the body. Herman must be in some wacky position because I am so uncomfortable. I feel like a baby cause I've complained so much this week but its been a lot to handle. I just feel sore and exhausted and any position I sit or lay in just doesn't feel good. The best way to put it is I feel stuffed with baby. I know I will have weeks like this and hopefully next week the little guy will move and give me a break. Oh and the indigestion is insane. I don't remember having that with Olive or if I did it was no big deal cause I don't recall but this time around whoa its bad. Luckily it's one of the only things you can actually take something for and it seems to have been a temporary thing. Bitch bitch moan moan. 

Olive has been quite the funny kid. I feel like I always say this but she is just talking and talking, like she just doesn't stop. She makes up lots of things and stories and ideas and it's kinda the best thing ever. At dinner she makes Blake take pretend photos of us then she thanks me for taking a photo with her and tells me she loves me. Its funnier when she does it I swear it's the strangest thing ever. The last week her sleep has been awful (yep nothing has changed) She's skipped a few naps this week and she doesn't seem to mind. Ugggg please please don't drop naps kid!!!! She is still waking up super early but we got her one of those lights that turn green when its time to get up and stays red when its too early. She fully gets the concept and will explain over and over what she is supposed to do but when she wakes up (which is usually around 5:30 she still screams for us) As soon as that light turns green her tone changes and she busts out of her room and is sooooooo excited. She just needs to figure out how to be quiet till this happens. We are lucky she stays in her room for the most part (except today when she didn't want to nap) but we just need her to sleep now. We have it set for 6:15. Thats not too much to ask right??

And the best news ever is that Herman has a healthy heart! We went back for the follow up ultrasound and everything looks good. I guess we went too early. Lesson learned. I feel so much better!

park fun. 

cookie baking. 

sushi hoarder. 

the little guy. 

more realistic. 

funny faces. 

face eater. 

pickling beets. 

twins. 

stay back sickies

Ok I am officially ready for summer. This winter cold and sickness is really pissing me off. At swim today it was totally empty (I'm assuming cause the world has the plague) and Olive's dance class has been half full the last few weeks. I can tell kids were sick as they have that awful lingering cough when they come back. Olives swim teacher had a sick kid home from school and said she was fighting something. Fucking lovely. When Olive woke up from her nap she felt warm too so I'm pretty sure she is fighting a fever. I think the cure is Hawaii till its summer here. 

I had my 22 (almost 23) week appointment today and everything seems good. My midwife didn't seem at all concerned with any of the results from the ultrasound and not seeing parts of the heart. She feels I just went too early. Obviously that makes me feel better as I trust her but when I go to my appointment wed I will get that 100% confirmation that I really need. I feel like the weeks are sneaking up on me. I got my bottle for the glucose test next appointment which seems so soon. I guess last time it went slower and I didn't know what to expect but now things are just flying by. After my next appointment I start going every 2 weeks. I can't even believe its all getting close. Sadly today my big plans of a home birth were shattered. I'm super bummed but I also realize it's not the end of the world. Unfortunately insurance doesn't recognize the home as a facility so they charge you a shit ton of money instead of the small fee the birthing center costs. Having a birth in general is already not affordable so its just not worth it to add anymore. If we have number three lets hope we'll be rich and we can do the home thing! Dream big!  Either way I just want a healthy birth no matter where it is. Moving on and focusing on keeping this baby healthy is my main goal. 

This weekend was crazy busy and sometimes I forget that I can't do all the things I want to do and not get tired. Saturday was mostly spent Olive free. She had a lovely day and slumber party with Blake's family while we ran around and did errands and hung out. We had an awesome dinner up in LA and then met up with some friends for a birthday party. We ended up getting home around midnight which in normal people life is early but holy shit I felt awful the next day. I couldn't fall asleep and as much as I tried to sleep in I couldn't do it. The break was obviously much appreciated but I guess you can't even put the mom aside if you try. On sunday we met up with Kat and Sonia for a quick coffee date. Aka the girls ran around like maniacs. Two year olds are fast! It was super fun even if it was the opposite of relaxing. Then we headed out to a baby shower. There were kids there which made it good for Olive but she was being a bit of a pickle head. It was freezing and she refused to wear her jacket. Errr maybe that explains the fever. 

On a random note this little guy has been kicking my bladder for the past few days like its his job. And every single time it makes me jump cause it feels like a shock. Oh and lets not talk about the amount of bathroom trips this means. He is definitely starting to be a bit more consistent with his moving around which makes it pretty fun.

silly app but pretty fun. 

making valentines. 

tap class. 

hanging with the birthday girl lauren. 

yep. 

the crazy kids. 

carb loading. 

hanging with forest. 

and justin. 

lazy sunday night. 

thin mint. bummed cause they don't taste the same as i remember. 

olive was making us pose. clearly our thai food was more important. 

then she wanted her photo taken. 

scooter rides. 

and then we went skateboarding.

she likes when i go down with her sometimes. my ass is kinda getting too large but whatever. 

so she can paint her nails all by herself now and honestly its not bad at all. kids has skills.