So I peed on a stick.......: to the moon.

Today was quite the lazy day. It was rainy and cold so I knew we were not going to do much which is totally fine. We did get out of the house for a few hours to play in the park (before the rain) and try out a new music class but otherwise we spent the rest of the afternoon at home cuddled on the couch. We watched a lot of Pee Wee Herman, Dora, and Lalaloopsy. Some days like that are not so bad. We had the fireplace on and in between snacks we played games and danced. We pretty much have a dance party daily. My new favorite Pandora station is David Bowie (seriously try it). Olive's new thing is to ask what the song is if she likes it. Today a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song came on and she went nuts over it. That and the kid loves Blondie. I spent some time in the kitchen making Rosemary Focaccia Bread and Butternut squash soup which was pretty fun and nice because Olive kept busy for a bit on the ipad. Some days are just ok like that. Today I really thought about the fact that our days together of just the two of us are almost over. I mean we get to add another one and make it even better but it's always been just us and I feel a little sad thinking that will change. I know she is beyond excited to have this little guy come and she is going to be amazing but I can't help but look at her and get a little sad since no matter what she will always be my first baby. Ug I'm such a mom.

I've felt a bit tired and overly neurotic lately. For the last week I've been waking up around 2am and just staring at the ceiling. All these crazy fears and wacky thoughts are going through my head. I know its just my emotions being heightened by the pregnancy but I think adding one more person in this world you are solely responsible for is a lot to handle. It sounds so dramatic but the truth is sometimes I am overcome by all this fear. Like I freak out cause there is so much crazy shit happening in this world and I get scared. I mean I guess I've always been a little freaked out by it but now it keeps me up at night. I think since having kids I've paid more attention to the world around me and not that I lived in a naive bubble before but when you don't have kids you just live. I watch the news more now, I never used to watch the news. It was part of my punk rock fuck the world attitude not to but now I feel like I need to know everything. This year alone there has been some major batshit crazy people out there and I'm scared, I'm scared for Olive and the baby and for me and Blake. Am I a little crazy?? I dunno maybe but this world is nuts. Just today there was some nutjob that shot 4 people, all of who were innocent and just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. This was in my neighborhood too. I mean really??? Sometimes I just want to live on the moon........

Now that I sound like a complete psycho I think I will just post some photos and leave it to that.

monday dim sum. perfect pregnant/toddler food.

"don't touch my tea."

her room is almost done. need to fill in the blank frames, get a nightstand, and paint that ugly dresser but I'm quite pleased.

i was/am quite a daredevil but this was probably the first thing she did that scared the shit out of me. This rock was really big and she just climbed it like it was no big deal.

this face makes me a pretty happy mom.

she told me she had a baby in her belly. the things she was saying were hysterical.

i was so impressed to hear her counting so well and then i turned around to see she was counting all the stickers she put on my car. errrr

our first time playing memory the right way with all the cards. normally i put them face up and just match but i felt like she needed a challenge. she did really good for a few rounds till she decided it was time for the cards to go to the market. weird kid.