So I peed on a stick.......: 2 weeks plus a few

HI. I'm still here, kinda. Still trying to adjust to having two little ones and zero time to catch up on life. Otto turned two weeks on sunday and he is sure growing fast. At his appointment he was already at 8.7 pounds and I'm sure he has gained a bunch more. His sleeping is about as good as you can expect from a newborn, and he's been mostly up about 3 times a night. It took a few days to adjust to that but now I'm kinda in the groove. It's just getting him back down that has been a bit tricky but it's all about learning what he needs and wants. I think he hit his 2-3 weeks growth spurt because he is having some cranky days and just wants mama. I don't mind but it hasn't made it easy to get out of the house or explain that to Olive. She is adjusting as best as she can. She is still super sweet to him and loves him up every second she can. Sometimes a bit too much but she is learning. She is definitely rebelling and trying to find attention anywhere she can but its not aimed directly at Otto as it is to us. She does things she clearly knows are wrong and watches us to make sure we see her. I also have crazy mom guilt as I'm always telling her not to do this or do that or don't touch this or hold on or give me a few seconds. She is starting to understand but I know that can't be an easy adjustment. She has been pretty patient with me feeding him and is mostly just curious. When he cries she will tell me that he needs milk which is pretty cute. The newborn feedings aren't easy either, sometimes they can last like 45 min and then I have to change a diaper and its a whole long process. There has been a lot of ipad and tv watching going on and I try not to feel guilty about it as I know it's not forever.

And because whats a post from me without talking about boobs??? Breastfeeding HURTS!!! I mean not forever but that first week it's brutal shit. I was looking up some info on latches cause I got all psycho and thought I was doing it wrong and everything I read told me it wasn't supposed to hurt. My scabbing, blisters and blood are all gone and now it doesn't hurt but it sure as hell did. I call so much bullshit on those hippy ass websites. Those bitches must have some tough ass titties. AND then to top it off last week I got a sample kit of formula in the mail. Obviously those jerks get your address from something baby and send it at the ideal time, like right as you get into that depression and your boobs hurt, and you're tired. Its criminal I tell you. Formula is great if you need it but for a tired mom maybe struggling with breastfeeding having that show up on your doorstep is cruel.

Last night I had a major freakout cause over the past few days I noticed my nipples were really pink and Otto has a nasty diaper rash. Both signs of thrush. I made a quick solution of grapefruit seed extract and water and started using it on myself and Otto last night. His rash is totally gone, my boobs not so much but I'm hoping if there is any yeast on there it will take it out. He has also been screaming like a mad man when he is on my boob. I'm like 99% sure it's because my letdown is super fast and he gets totally pissed off but I also kept thinking it could be from the thrush and that he is sore. No thrush no thrush no thrush!

Besides the normal adjusting and emotions all over the place I'm loving having this little guy around. He is still as sweet as can be and cuddles like no other. He's starting to throw me a few smiles but mostly keeps a pretty serious face. I know I constantly compare it to the experience with Olive which is kinda unfair as they are so different but it's also the only thing I know and have as a reference. I'm still trying to take it all moment by moment as some days are just really hard. This morning was one of them. It got to be 11am and I still couldn't manage to get in the shower or get Olive dressed. Some days will be like that and I'm learning to just go with it and be patient when sometimes I just want to scream. Blake has had a crazy last week with work and also taken on some side retouching which means when he comes home he pretty much has to go on the computer and get to work. We need this extra money so bad and I'm extremely thankful for it but that means I get no break at all. Between bath time, dishes, and putting Olive to sleep it's a lot and I get tired. I know its temporary and Blake is probably beyond tired too but sometimes timing is kinda a bitch ya know? I didn't mean for this post to be all whiny but sometimes it just happens.