Friday, June 14, 2013

today is my due date

Today is my due date. Had I waited this long I would have probably gone a bit insane so I'm lucky Otto had a better plan. Smart smart kid.

If you've been reading my blog since day one you know I talk a lot about boobs, specifically mine but just in general boobs. I'm fascinated by breastfeeding and everything that comes with it. Now that my milk is in and I'm starting the process all over again I'm kinda obsessed. Otto is currently going on hour 3 of his nap and I am not about to wake him. My boobs are like a faucet right now and I just find it hysterical. I was pacing back and forth waiting for him to wake but I realized that was crazy and I need to just relax even if these bad boys feel like they are going to explode. He is a good little eater and wants to eat about every hour and a half give or take. I'm 100% feeding on demand with him and so far its made me so much less stressed out. He knows when he wants to eat and he makes it totally clear. He is peeing and pooping like a champ and when weighed 4 days after birth he had only lost 2 oz so I think we are golden. The blisters are another story and I'm really working on his latch to make sure that isn't making it worse. Lots of patience!

Today I felt myself slip into that super emotional post pregnancy  mode. I feel like I just want to cry, not like I'm depressed at all, its actually quite the opposite but there is just so much emotion going on and the hormones in me are going insane. Its a funny thing to balance.   My body has sure taken on a lot this week or actually the past 9 months and now I feel good  (besides the drippy boobs) and I have the most beautiful little baby that I'm totally obsessed with and I'm just so damn happy I want to scream but at the same time I'm so so so tired. I've overwhelmed by my little family and how lucky I am but now that I have these two little ones that I just love more than anything in this world and I feel so happy but at the same time feel so scared like I want to protect them from everything and then my crazy mind starts to run away and I get paranoid about everything. I know I know,  slow down the crazy train !!! But its all part of coming down off pregnancy or at least that is what it feels like. Settle down my little hormones! I probably need a hug and a glass of wine. Today Olive has her dance performance. I'm not an overly emotional person when it comes happy events, like I don't really cry at weddings or movies or stuff like that but I almost lost my shit watching her dance. My eyes welled up but I held back cause had I let go were talking waterworks and like that sobbing can't catch your breath cry and I couldn't go there. Oh hormones please be kind to me.

creeping while they sleep. 

he took a giant poop and she thought it was the funniest thing ever. 

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post sponge bath. 

performance outfit. 

she graduates to the big kids dance. exciting times. 

attempting tummy time. 

olive took this of me. its a terrible terrible photo of me but i thought she framed it kinda amazing. 
olive took this of blake. cleaning up dog pee. 

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