watermelon boobs

I'm walking around with watermelons for boobs. Day 4 into this and we are slowly figuring it all out. A bit sleep deprived but we're all settling in. Blake has the week off work and my mom just went home for a few days.

Otto is the sweetest little baby ever. I think with Olive I was so busy being worried about everything I didn't totally soak in all that newborn amazingness. At this point its just about sleeping and eating and maybe a little awake time in there. Olive is handling everything pretty well. The combo of almost being three and a bit of attention being shifted away from her has made things a little harder but she will adjust. There have been a lot of repeating ourselves and telling her not to do the most ridiculous things but she is going to do what she has to do to rebel. Luckily she has nothing but sweetness and love for Otto and she can't keep her hands off him. She asks to hold him all day and she is getting pretty good about it besides sometimes a little too much squeezing. She says "him is just so cute" at least 5000 times a day. The days are pretty easy and normal but the nights get a little tricky. Olive hates sleep so we fight that nightly. It has nothing to do with Otto just that the kid wants to party till the wee hours of the night. We're still trying to figure out sleeping with Otto. He isn't much for sleeping in the co sleeper so we're trying to figure it out so we can all be happy and sleep. Like any baby he just wants to be held all night and I totally get that. Olive had to be swaddled and I'm not quite sure Otto needs that so its like this balance of trying to figure out his needs vs our sleeping. Lots of balance and trying different things.
Luckily we've been able to take naps during the day so we're hanging in there.

My body is coming back around slowly. I am sore from head to toe like a I ran a marathon but that is definitely to be expected. I feel like everything is kinda figuring out where it is supposed to go so I still move pretty slow. Considering what came out of my lower region there is no pain down there. But I have a freaking hemorrhoid. Gross right? But I remember pushing and thinking I am for sure going to get a hemorrhoid from this. I mean its kinda surprising that its all you get considering how insane pushing is. Anyways its my first and its not painful just kinda annoying. Breastfeeding is going well except for the cracked and sore nipples but each day they get better and I'm just looking forward to when they are healed and that initial latch doesn't make me wanna scream my brains out. Today already I feel a world of difference and I know tomorrow will hopefully be that much closer but man oh man in the middle of the night when you're body is just tired and worn out it sucks! I'm still paranoid as hell about thrush but I'm taking my pro-biotics and eating really healthy so I'm hoping it won't happen cause that shit was miserable.

I feel like my head has been full of things to say on here. I feel full of all this crazy mom emotion but somehow today writing just isn't flowin. I'm sure its the lack of sleep but until I can put together all my thoughts and words I leave photos cause that I can do!

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a few hours before going into labor. 

shortly after he arrived. 

home and hanging in bed. 

the first hold. 

they have been on so many adventures this week. she is going to be so sad when he has to go back to work monday. 

i love watching his little hand positions.