you're pissing me off

Apparently something I say quite often as Olive has started repeating it. I wish it wasn't so damn funny cause its really hard to explain to her not to say that word when I'm fighting back laughing. Last night I told her she needed to get off the ipad and that is when she said it the first time. Used correctly so I was pretty proud. Then today she said it to me twice. Once when I told her that she couldn't go on the swing (we were going to be super late for swim) then she said it one more time in the car but I forget why. I need to filter myself a lot better but sometimes in the heat of the moment words just fly out.

I'm on day 1 of no coffee. I can feel the headache starting and I know if I sit down to rest it will come on strong. Yesterday Otto had an awful day like where between Blake and I it was even tricky to get by. I have no idea if it was something I ate or just that he has a bit of reflux mixed with my fast letdown. I read a million different articles last night trying to pin point what it could be but nothing really fits what is happening. I know I should just stop reading but for some reason finding something to blame always feels so much better. He's not a fussy baby at all so colic is totally not the reason and when his stomach starts to get all tight as long as you hold him he won't cry. He just seems to strain so much and it makes him cry and fuss and get really worked up. The hardest part yesterday was every time I fed him he would scream off and on my boob like my milk was poison. Each feeding took like an hour so it was a long long day. He's been having a lot of trouble with my letdown but this was a different cry like in pain. It was the hardest thing to watch as I couldn't do anything. Blake and I pretty much just passed him back and forth all day. I figured my coffee could be bothering him so I'll give it a few days and see. Also perhaps dairy? So far today I've fed him about 3-4 times and he has been totally fine. He got a little fussy at the last feeding but nothing too crazy. I was having major anxiety about today but so far we managed to get out the house and I was able to feed him on the go. That's been my biggest worry that if I'm out I won't be able to feed him cause he screams so much and then I get all sweaty and uncomfortable. All that while dealing with Olive. But I managed to get a really good feeding in after swim in the car. The a/c was blasting and Olive had snacks and her leap pad. Success!

After swim I figured Otto would sleep for a few hours so we went to get some doughnuts. It was nice that Otto was sleeping and I could just concentrate on her and give her all my attention. After carbloading we walked over to a fireworks stand and got some sparklers. I don't think she knows what they really are but she is in for a treat. She just went down for a nap and I hear Otto trying to wake up. My boobs are killing me so it must be time for him to get up. Hoping the rest of the afternoon goes well and I have some happy kiddos cause this headache is going to be nasty when it hits me. Why coffee why?????

heatwave. 

mud pit. 

kinda obsessed with my chickens. 

we got a hammock! 

naked time. 

summer dinners are kinda the best. 

wakey wakey. 

cuddles. 

we spent the beach day in here. it was overcast and i was in a crap mood so we hid in the tent and it was lovely. 

boobie milk in a bottle. he took it like a champ and it doesn't seem to upset his stomach cause the nipple flow is super slow. just want to make sure he will be ok with a bottle if he ever needs one and when i go back to kickboxing. 

olive has zero interest in the slip n slide. 

yes! 

table scraps. 

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we talked to this really nice lady for like 20 min and she insisted we take a photo. she was a first time grandma (walking her grandchild around in a stroller) and asking me a zillion questions. it was adorable. 

he seems pretty happy in there. 

sparklers!!! 

sleepy man.