Bitching

Well the good news is I survived the entire day alone. The bad news is I either broke my foot even worse or it's swollen from doing way too much. Or both. My crutches caught a princess dress and I slipped and instinctually I slammed down my foot to catch myself. The bad foot. I felt it shake and that same broken bone feeling that now I know is a broken bone pain just stung like a motherfucker. I just stood there and cried. There was nothing else to do. The day was so so hard. While of course there were little pieces of good things it was hard. I couldn't be on my crutches to grab Otto when he was half way up he slide or when he was crying. He's a baby and he needs me. I can't just leave him. He gets into places he shouldn't and while olive was so good about helping me she is three and sometimes she just doesn't want to. She did help me carry him to and from his room for nap which was a big deal. Cooking dinner was near impossible but I did it. I honestly don't know how I will have the energy to do it all again  tomorrow but I know that I have to so I will.  Had I not hurt my foot again I think it would have been a fine day. It was definitely the hardest day as a mom but I did it. There were a lot of tears today and a lot of pep talks with myself. I've been pain free for a few days now and I feel like I started over or made it worse which sucks. I could use some balance right now and some good news. And hugs, lots of hugs.