Thursday, April 17, 2014

Princess fall down

I have to apologize for the extemely emo posts lately. This is my venting and gives me a bit of sanity in all this chaos. So turns out my little slip on the princess dress re broke my foot. I mean I knew that but I got the X-ray confirmation yesterday. So now I start over with healing. I mean the fact that it's beyond ridiculous is almost funny. I'm doing everything I can to keep my shit together and honestly it's really hard. I've cried so much. I'm depressed. I'm feeling like I let down my kids. I feel beyond lonely. I feel like I'm missing out. The list goes on but in the end it just fucking sucks. While I realize wallowing in this won't help it at all it's still hard to be anything close to positive. But I'm trying. I want to take this time to focus on my kids and be present cause really I have no other option. I mean not that I don't do that already but we never stay home so now we will and we will have to get creative. That and my patience.  Nothing can be instant. Everything takes time now and picking up crutches to go pee is exhausting. I know nothing will seem too hard after this. And maybe I was supposed to learn that lesson and gain strength. I dunno. Everyday will be a challenge. I want to pick up my baby and walk with him. I feel so sad about that. It's all the little things that are hard. I need my friends and I need support so bad right know but I'm so terrible at asking. I need like a million hugs and for fucks sake can I stop crying??!!

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