So I peed on a stick.......: blue toes

You know that episode of girls when Hanna gets that twitchy neck and she's super awkward?? Ya well that is me but with my eye. I get a twitchy eye maybe once or twice a year. It has to be the perfect combination of stress and lack of sleep and boom I'm winking at you when we talk. I'm about to fight it with a giant cup of coffee before Olive has dance class. I finally won the nap battle with Otto. He has been downright refusing to sleep in his crib during nap time. He's a champ in the car or in my ergo but at home he is like nooooooo way man not sleeping in there. It's mostly my fault as we are on the go so he has learned to nap like that but I'm trying to get him to at least take one nap at home. I had to let him cry a little which I hate but you know what, it worked. Even Olive was like "Ummm mom are you going to get Otto, he's crying?" I'm sure his cute little front tooth popping through isn't helping either. He is like seconds from walking. He can stand from anywhere. He needs a little something to pull up on but after that he can stand on his own for a long time. He won't take a step, just lowers himself and crawls to where he wants to go but I imagine its days/weeks away. I'm ready for walking as touching his hands on the ground is just gross. Especially since I put him down everywhere. He is a ton of fun right now and has a MAJOR personality but holy shit is he busy. I kinda thought I would get one calm one but nope he is just as busy as Olive and even more wild as he has that boy in him. He climbs everything and has zero fear. Just totally balls out!

So last weekend I went to palm springs with some friends for the day/night and it was unreal. I left pretty early saturday morning and my friends and I spent the entire day at the pool. There was a bloody mary in my hand by 10am and it was perfection. So many drinks and so much fun. Most of these friends have been in my life for over 10 years (and some more) so it was pretty special to all get together in one place as it's pretty rare these days as we live all over the place. I love how we can not see each other for awhile and its still exactly the same when we get together, like no time has passed. No drama just fun. They are some amazing ladies and I am so darn lucky. We tried to rally and go out at night but it so didn't happen. We managed to get dressed for dinner and after that most of us headed back to the rooms to sleep. Getting old is the pits but considering we racked up a $400 bar bill at the pool I'd say we partied enough. During my day drunk I decided to try and scale a wall with my feet. It ended badly and I crushed the top of my left foot with my right heel (according to my not so drunk friend). I actually don't know if it's just broken or bruised but its currently still super swollen and blue. It feels worse but better if that makes sense. I can move it way better but the pain is much more intense. I imagine its healing. Just super bummed I can't go running as I was on a major roll the last few months. When I'm working out I eat amazing and I just feel so much better. I'm hoping maybe next week I will be able to attempt a fast walk or something but now walking just sucks. Totally my fault so I can't really be pissed.

The spring funk is still in full effect but I'm just rolling with it as if I have another choice. With some earthquake weather thrown in there too which is adding to the bla. I'll snap out of it eventually but I just feel down, not like depressed or anything just sad. For me I get in these moods where I just question everything like everything and my head gets filled with all this crap and I just stress. It's just how I'm built. On top of that mom life is hard. I'm exhausted beyond anything and its non stop all day especially with shitty nappers or some days no naps at all. Blake isn't home to help with dinner and baths so ya it's a lot. I love it at the same time but I'm tired. I question friendships and where my place is all the time. I've made a lot of friends here and they are all so wonderful but some of the friendships haven't gone anywhere and I still feel out of place. It's probably just me getting inside my head which is kinda my thing to do. My best friends live too far and sometimes I get lonely not having those people around all the time. Blake and I hardly have time to talk anymore. After the hour long battle to put Olive to bed we are so burnt out that we either sit and watch tv or he goes in the garage and I go on my computer. So ya I miss him and I'm sure that isn't helping my mood. I barely see my mom as she has a lot going on with her life and I miss that help and of course having my mom around. A girl needs her mom. I hope Olive always needs me like I need my mom. Just shit like that. I mean it makes sense. Bla bla bla it's just a phase. Snap out of it spring!

So Olive had her first Spring show at her school. Holy crap it was out of control adorable. I mean she killed it up there. She was front and center and sang Skidamarink a dink a dink and You are my Sunshine like a champ. She had all these cute hand motions. The tears, oh the tears. I was seriously so proud. It was some good stuff. I get so frustrated with her because she is such a strong personality but man she is smart. Lately she is just blowing my mind with what comes out of her mouth. Probably my favorite thing lately is her drawing. She is finally starting to get it as far as making sense of things when she draws. She was in a phase where all she drew were sunshines/jellyfish. But now she draws people and rainbows and grass. I feel like things are just starting to click with that. Everything we play now is role playing, everything. I know kids are like little sponges but more then ever she is now. I give her a lot of ultimatiums in the day. So now when she gets pissed she turns it back on me. I try and explain to her that I'm the mom and she can't talk to me like that but getting through to an angry three year old is near impossible. Lately when she is good she is really good. Otto was having a full meltdown at dinner and she totally helped me make him laugh and turn the situation into something funny. It's so helpful when she gets in those good moods cause she really is helpful and capable of so much. She sure is a funny kid. I try and soak it all up because the time is flying by.