Break

Olive is passed out on my bed next to me. Poor kid has a cold. Otto is sleeping too as I'm sure he is feeling the sick come on. What a week. My mom is here which has allowed me to really do nothing and to catch up on stuff around the house. I'm a terrible relaxer but I'm trying as I know eventually she will have to go home and things will get tricky. 

Last night was a rough one. Nights in general suck. My foot starts to throb and trying to getcomfortable is a joke so I just stare at the clock all night. I think I finally fell asleep this mornjng for a bit but otherwise sleeping just isn't an option. Otto was up twice which is hard. Once he is asleep on my boob I can't really get up without putting full pressure on my foot or hopping which I've been doing. Hopping generally wakes him up or since I'm half asleep I almost fall. Might be a good time for him to sleep through the night. Last night I got into a pretty shitty place. The reality of how hard this is, is really set in. I don't want to go to Costa Rica any more like at all which is the saddest thing ever as I was so excited. I just don't see the point of being so uncomfortable and not being able to get around. The idea of it sounds great but the reality is it's going to be a ton of work. I just sat here in my bed crying for like an hour. Maybe that sounds dumb but it felt good. 

I kept saying I needed a break and I guess the universe answered and literally gave me a break. Talking about a giant fuck you. Hoping today will be better and my mental state will be brighter.