Hello brooklyn

I finally downloaded a blogger app to my phone so let's hope this works. Olive is taking a nap and Blake and I are being lazy. We got in super late last night and olive refused to sleep till 4 am so we've had a slow start to the day. We got lunch, wandered around our old stomping grounds, met up with a friend, and will be going to dinner with friends a little later. Pretty good start to our trip.
I don't want to go home.....

Happy Wedding Marisa and Jack

I'm trying to ignore the little bit of hangover that is still lingering so this post could be even more all over the place then usual. The weekend was great. Not gonna lie I missed my little critter like crazy but everything was fine and Blake and I had a really good time. We arrived to Sacramento on friday night around 10pm. Everyone was coming back from the rehearsal dinner and then heading to a bar so we decided we should go for a drink and not be all lame. Trust me, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed but we decided not to be all old. I'm glad we went cause it was nice to see everyone before the wedding and do a quick catch up. I think we were in bed by 12 which was perfect. The only thing I wanted to do was sleep in. Of course my mom clock woke me  up at 6:30 cause my boobs felt like they were going to explode but I was able to go back to sleep for awhile after a quick pump. I think we slept till around 8:30 or 9 which is pretty late considering we wake up every morning at 5:45. We were able to track down a ridiculously delicious coffee snob place right around the corner from our hotel. Major score! After that we got some yummy breakfast and wandered around downtown Sacramento. This was my first time there and Blake had only been in 6th grade so we had fun exploring. We wandered around the capitol building and the park. My boobs kinda controlled the day as I was dying and needed to go back and pump. We figured we saw enough touristy stuff and hung out in bed and watched Bad Santa before getting ready for the wedding. Do you have any idea how amazing it is to be able to lay in bed during the middle of the day and do nothing?? So we got all fancy and headed off to the wedding.

Ok seriously one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to. It was about an hour outside of Sacramento in Capay. Totally out in the middle of nowhere. We took a party bus out there so the drive wasn't bad at all. All the little details of the wedding were unreal. Every single thing was adorable. Blake and I enjoyed the signature drink way too much. I'm pretty sure I had about 10 of them followed by a bottle of wine. Yikes. There were a couple of other mamas there and somehow we all managed to find each other in the bathroom at the same time and ended up having a conversation about boobs for a good 20 min. Good times. We ate the most delicious desserts and danced and drank and drank some more. I didn't want the night to end. Ohhhh I also got to meet a friend of Marisa's that reads my blog (who I've never met before) Hiiiiiiiiiii! Not gonna lie it was the coolest thing ever. Turns out she is the sweetest girl ever and of course lives in NY. Major boo! The ride home in the party bus was totally out of control. Marisa and Jack joined us along with about 50 some drunk people. People kept making drunk speeches while bottles of wine got passed around to drink. Classy! As if that wasn't enough they had an after party in their room. Most people wore their robes from there rooms cause we're fancy like that. At around 2 am I was done. I was starting to spin and I was beyond tired. Last time I was up that late I was in labor. Wild me! It was such a fun night and worth the stupid hangover.

Hard to see but it's Marisa and Jack holding hands wayyyyyy up there.

Stupid heels hurt.

They did not make it to the robe party but I took a million photos of their cute converse while they were passed out.

My classy husband.

The wedding dress out of the robe look is pretty great.

The flight home was pretty interesting. We ended sitting next to this girl who happened to be up in Sacramento for a wedding as well. She is a mama with two kids and we ended talking most of the flight home. She was super nice, had purple hair, and tattoos. Totally not your typical orange county mom. She was easy to talk to and just a super down to earth person. I should of asked for her number but I'm totally lame and way too shy. Oh well if we're meant to be mom friends we'll run into each other one day. OC is pretty small. Just funny as I spend most of my time bitching and moaning about not being able to make mom friends. Anyways we made it home in one piece, just a little tired. We spent the afternoon at Irvine Spectrum trying to find some shoes for Blake and wandering around. I'm trying to get the motivation to unpack and start to get organized so I can pack up for NY tomorrow but I'm super slow tonight.

I missed Olive like crazy and I probably annoyed everyone talking about her but it was also nice to be alone with Blake and talk about other things besides baby stuff and not stress for a few days about wrangling her. I think once in awhile we need this. My mom said Olive was great and they had a lot of fun. They used up the last bag of milk right before I got home so it all worked out. She ended up getting about half breastmilk and half whole milk for the two days which I feel totally ok with. I thought that maybe I would start slowly weening her but I just don't think I'm ready yet. I think I worried myself a bit too much when I didn't think I had enough milk anymore but I know it was just my period which totally cuts my supply. I pumped plenty of milk while I was away although it all went down the sink so I know I have plenty for her. I still love the little bond we have and I think for now I will continue on. We'll see how we do in NY and how I'm feeling when I get back but I think we're going to keep going with the boob. After she woke up from her nap today I fed her and she immediately fell asleep while nursing and it was so so sweet. She is so busy running around and growing up that this is the only time she stops for a second and cuddles and I love it. I'm not setting any time lines or goal just doing what feels right.

1st Birthday

Yep today is her official first birthday. Right now a year ago I would be getting ready to head home from the birth center. If you're interested in my birth story I posted it here. I haven't had a chance to re-read it yet but I can't wait to see what I wrote a year ago. This year has been incredible. It's been terrifying, sad, happy, hysterical, joyous, emotional, exhausting, silly, and a million other things but I've loved every second of it. Olive is amazing and I feel so lucky that I have a healthy and happy little girl. I'm on my way out of town tonight for a wedding but we had a wonderful day of celebrating her birthday. We started off with oatmeal and pancakes, played Captain Zoom (a Becker family tradition), and played the rest of the day. I'm having major guilt leaving today but I'm trying to get over it. It doesn't help that I have MAJOR flying anxiety. Like I am convinced every time I step onto a plane it's going to crash. I have all these weird rituals I  have to go through in my head so I don't lose my mind. I've never let my fear stop me from going anywhere but it's there. And now having Olive I'm even more paranoid. I know I know I'm fucking nuts. Anyways once I'm there I will be fine and I know Olive will be enjoying her Grandma time. I will do an official one year post when I get back from New York next week but for now here are a few photos from this morning.

Zoo

Monday's can be hard to get motivated so I decided that we would go to the zoo. This was the first time there with Olive walking so I decided to ditch the stroller and just walk the whole thing since it's super small. She was very happy with this.  She loved the animals and was way more interested in watching then this time around. There was a baby monkey in one of the cages and he was having the best time running around and swinging from everything and chasing all his other friends around. Olive thought this was the coolest thing ever and kept screaming and pointing. She would stop at any of the waterfalls or places with water and point and say something. She is water obsessed. She nearly lost it when I wouldn't let her swim in one of the little pond things. It was a fun time and a good way to start the day.

She figured out how to open the pantry and the box of Cheerios.

Morning walk. Sierra leading the way.

Today we ran a ton of errands to run to get ready for the week and our upcoming trips. So much coming up and I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. On friday Olive turns one and we are also heading up to Sacramento for Marisa and Jacks wedding till sunday. I will get to spend the day with Olive on her birthday and I think our flight is late enough where I can even put her to bed but I still feel bad. My mom will be here watching her so I know she will have the best time but I still have that mom guilt anytime I leave. It will be good for Blake and I to spend some time together and maybe even get a decent night of sleep!! Then tuesday we leave for NY. I'm starting to feel a little nervous about the flight with Olive. She has so much energy and I just don't know how I will be able to keep her on my lap for a few hours. The good and bad is we're taking Southwest which means it will take an entire day to get to NY cause we have stops on the way. I'm thinking breaking up the flights and being able to get out of the plane might be good for her. I dunno I guess we'll see. Trying to figure out what I need and don't need and so far I feel like I'm bringing everything and the kitchen sink. I've already come to terms that she will be completely off schedule for the week and not have any normalcy at all so hopefully that won't make her pissed off.  If anyone has travel tips please send them my way!!

 After errands we had a visit from Tamar for a few hours which was really nice. We didn't do anything but sit on the floor and play with Olive but it was really nice to actually catch up a bit. Olive was in a good mood and happy to play with Tamar. Around 5 she turned into a pretty pissed off little girl. She literally threw herself on the floor and had tantrum after tantrum. She kept putting her fingers in her mouth so I'm guessing she is in a lot of pain with her teeth. That and she is snotting like crazy. She had a cold 2 weeks ago so I have no idea what is going on. It made making dinner very interesting. I couldn't handle her screaming when I put her down so I just held her for an hour while I cooked and tried to calm her. Some nights I'm just not able to make dinner without Blake's help and other nights she is perfectly happy tearing open the drawers or playing with her toys. I know it was just a bad day but it sure is hard and makes me feel like I'm going insane. Tonight I decided that we are done with purees. She occasionally has one when I have leftover veggies or things that I want to mix that are hard to chew but most of her meals are whole veggies and chunks. The last few nights she only wants what is on my plate and that is the only thing she will eat. Last night I made this really yummy cous cous with tofu, tomato, onion, garlic, and a chicken stock. She seriously ate so much of it. Then tonight same thing. I made this super yummy puree and she wanted nothing to do with it. Wanted my pasta, veggies, and fake meat. Loved it. Makes it easier only cooking one dinner I guess. We just introduced chicken today and she isn't super into it. She spit most of it out at lunch and then tonight wouldn't eat the puree with it so might hold off on trying it again unless it's in my meal since she didn't really take to it.

That is about it.......





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