1st Birthday

Yep today is her official first birthday. Right now a year ago I would be getting ready to head home from the birth center. If you're interested in my birth story I posted it here. I haven't had a chance to re-read it yet but I can't wait to see what I wrote a year ago. This year has been incredible. It's been terrifying, sad, happy, hysterical, joyous, emotional, exhausting, silly, and a million other things but I've loved every second of it. Olive is amazing and I feel so lucky that I have a healthy and happy little girl. I'm on my way out of town tonight for a wedding but we had a wonderful day of celebrating her birthday. We started off with oatmeal and pancakes, played Captain Zoom (a Becker family tradition), and played the rest of the day. I'm having major guilt leaving today but I'm trying to get over it. It doesn't help that I have MAJOR flying anxiety. Like I am convinced every time I step onto a plane it's going to crash. I have all these weird rituals I  have to go through in my head so I don't lose my mind. I've never let my fear stop me from going anywhere but it's there. And now having Olive I'm even more paranoid. I know I know I'm fucking nuts. Anyways once I'm there I will be fine and I know Olive will be enjoying her Grandma time. I will do an official one year post when I get back from New York next week but for now here are a few photos from this morning.