Monday, October 10, 2011

1 year checkup and some bitching

I'm sitting all alone at my parents house with the tv on and it's lovely. I decided to come for a visit for a few days because I needed to pick up my dog and figured we'd have a little visit and hang out with my mom and see some friends. Today was a long one as I was going on absolutely no sleep. We had a birthday dinner for Robin last night at the coolest place ever and Olive was just a total nightmare. She usually hates dinner out cause she is tired and that is usually grumpy hour but this was really bad. She refused to sit in her high chair and since she can get out there was nothing I could do. I decided holding her was the only way to keep her quiet. At this point it was just more about keeping her quiet and getting through dinner. Everyone offered to help but I wanted everyone to enjoy their dinner and I really thought I could handle her. I never breastfeed at the table but I did to just keep her quiet and she totally bit me twice. Not like a little bit but one where I totally thought I was going to cry. So I screamed super loud and totally felt like an idiot. Then I was sweating like a maniac cause I was so stressed out and then when she bit me I just screamed then started laughing. It was one of those laughs that I couldn't stop and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown or just cry. I felt like a total asshole that I couldn't control my child. So I pulled out the big guns and put yo gabba gabba on my phone which makes me feel like a failure of a parent. So I have my child watching yo gabba gabba at the dinner table with her hands covered in grease cause she was shoving cheese bread and potato in her face (ya another awesome parenting move) The whole thing was a mess and all I was hoping is that everyone could enjoy their dinner without my heathen child going insane. Luckily I was able to eat and not have a nervous breakdown and we made it through dinner but I was just upset when I left that I couldn't control her and that I gave her my phone. I mean what kind of parent am I? I know kids have bad nights but I feel like I need to learn to handle it another way somehow. Not quite sure how but I do. Oh and the reason for her being up all night was most likely a stomach ache from her carby dinner. I'm mad at myself that I didn't think ahead and bring her something healthy to eat or try to find something, although it's doubtful she would have eaten it. Just one of those nights where I felt crappy. Besides my wild child the food and time with the family was great just wish it wasn't as stressful.

So today Olive had her 1 year check up and all was good. She almost weights 18 pounds which puts her in the 15% and she is 30.75 inches long which puts her in the 95%. Pretty much a little supermodel, tall and thin. I was being totally neurotic asking my dr if I should be worried about how little she was and she didn't seem concerned at all. She said to try and feed her a little more actual food. I asked if I should stop breastfeeding and switch to cows milk and she told me to keep breastfeeding which I thought was awesome. I'm still torn as to when to start weening and if she is actually getting enough so I've decided to add cows milk in her diet in the morning and night just for a little extra. So we'll see if that helps at all. Feeding her (real food) is just tricky these days and she doesn't always want to eat and she is starting to get really picky. There are days when she eats a ridiculous amount of food and then other days she throws every single thing on the floor and refuses to eat anything. Super fun!

After her appointment we met up with Ross for some food ( I stole this photo from him) before we drove up to my parents house. I got her the most massive plate of brown rice and steamed veggies and she barely touched any of them. Only wanted to eat her yogurt, tofu, and raspberries. It wasn't awful but I still don't think she ate enough.

I'm excited for a few days with my mom and hopefully Olive will sleep for me!

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