Monday, June 28, 2010

bitch bitch moan moan

Trying to get the morning started. Having one of those panicky mornings where bills are due and I haven't quite figured out how I am going to be paying them due to the no job thing. Trying not to stress and make some plans and of course not to upset my stomach. The baby senses it and I get all crampy and tense. I've emailed a bunch of contacts that I thought could possibly give me jobs but nothing so far. I will email more today but it would be silly to expect to get hired right away for a shoot. It takes a few months for them to work you into the system. Unfortunately I don't have a lot of time. I knew moving back here would be difficult for work so its not a huge shock but the reality is kicking in and I'm scared out of my mind. I'm trying not to beat myself up or regret anything. I love being here with my family but I left a really good job that I actually liked. Having family is wonderful but they can't pay the bills. Money isn't everything but when you can't pay your bills its a problem. I told myself I wouldn't look back. We made the decision to move and now its all about moving forward, just not sure what to do. Ok enough bitching and moaning for one morning.

Switching to something happy. A friend sent me this video and its one of the most beautiful things I've seen. I totally cried my eyes out. The tears on the dads face, oh my gosh!
http://pacingthepanicroom.blogspot.com/2010/06/last-moments-of-57-hours.html

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