boobies

Today my thoughts are consumed by boobs. Not mine but my cousins. I know it sounds weird. I got a frantic text from my cousin at 6am to call her when I got up. When I called she was hysterical crying. Once she was calm and could talk she told me she was in so much pain and had clogged ducts on both sides of her boobs. She has a one month old and has been doing everything in her power to breastfeed her. Last week when we talked she was so happy and felt she was finally getting it (after seeing a lactation consultant) and felt confident. I was seriously so happy cause the first few weeks are so hard (for most people) and she was really struggling. But now she is back in a shitty situation. Even if she wanted to stop she couldn't cause she needs to clear the ducts and the only way is with baby. She is a smart cookie and has done everything under the sun to try and fix the problem. Her dr was a complete asshole to her and she said she was walking out the door before she was even done talking. I mean what is wrong with dr's and our medical industry?? What about taking the time to offer advice or refer her to a lactation consultant or something. Fuck I mean you get paid a trillion dollars to look at tits and vaginas all day and you can't spend 5 min with a new mom?? I just feel enraged for my cousin. Why does is have to be so difficult to breastfeed when it's supposed to be natural? I think about this all time. What did cavewomen do when they had clogged ducts? I always wonder if putting babies on schedules has anything to do with all the problems? I'm pretty sure 100's of years ago there wasn't a schedule for a baby? I dunno this is the shit I think about. I've become pretty passionate (aka borderline nuts) over boobs. I just feel its such a special bond. I didn't always feel that way. Two months of thrush and multiple clogged ducts really made life difficult but I look at Olive and I LOVE that I can comfort her with something no one else can and I love that I can sustain a life with my boobs. Ya its a lot of pressure but its pretty amazing. I love when she grabs my mouth and hooks me like a fish when she is eating and that her nails scratch my side when she feeds. I always know when its time to cut the nails this way.

Obviously everyone has a choice to breastfeed or not. I don't really care but what I do care about is when people want to and they can't because of complications or stress or lack of education. Of course there is Le leche leauge but sometimes the motivation to go to a meeting and sit with strangers might not be everyone's cup of tea. I know I had that option and I didn't use that resource. If I knew what I know now maybe I would but as a first time mom whipping your boobs out in front of a stranger might be a bit intimidating. Lactation Consultants are great, I would say the best resource out there but they are expensive. The women who came to see me was $175 for like an hour or two. Not everyone has that money lying around. I didn't, my mom paid for it. And honestly I would of loved for her to come a few days after I gave birth and then maybe 2 more times to check on me. I wish there was a resource out there for women that wanted this service that wasn't super expensive. I know insurance is getting better about paying for lactation consultants but my insurance at the time didn't cover it and I'm sure mine is not the only one. There just has to be a way to make breastfeeding easier for anyone that wants that as an option. I was thinking about my birth experience with a midwife and how much I loved it. I would do it all over the same way but I was thinking how amazing it would of been to have a lactation consultant part of her team. Obviously my midwife was there to help me breastfeed right away but she was a little busy delivering my placenta and stitching up the vag to spend that much time really showing me a proper latch. I went home really clueless. Of course I had books, you tube, the moms, but its a totally different experience to have someone sit with you and show you tricks and give you that confidence and then to check back in a week after the blur of birth passes over you to make sure you are on the right path. For some people the baby latches on and there is never a problem. I love when I hear stories like that but the reality is most people have problems and there should be options that aren't super expensive.

Yep that was my rant for the day. I hope more than anything my cousin can beat the boobie monster and have a successful breastfeeding relationship like she wants and deserves.



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