Sleeping and Stripes

Busy busy busy! I never neglect the blog for this long but damn things have been crazy. Shot another job yesterday so it's been a good busy.

Two nights ago Olive slept through the entire night! 8-6. It was amazing but it only lasted one night but I was so happy to know that she has it in her so hopefully it will start happening more often. I've been struggling so much with the sleeping thing with her lately. I know I know I talk about it every post but its just my way of working through it. As much as I swore I would never let her cry it out I did get to a point where I had to walk away and let her cry. I only did it a few times and every single time left me feeling like the worst mother in the world. I would just stare at the video monitor watching her. I tried rocking, nursing, and everything and there were times nothing would work. There is only so much you can do. Most of the time she would just whimper and make a super fake cry. She would always stop, play with her toys, get bored and cry again. She would eventually crawl into a little ball and go to sleep but it just pained me to watch her do it this way. I'm sure for some people it works and as much as I bashed it I wanted to try it and see if she responded to it. Of course there are times where she needs to figure it out but I'm learning other ways to make it comfortable for me and also to have her sleep. I want her to have a positive sleeping experience and not be totally freaked out when it comes to bedtime. I've just found that rocking her to sleep isn't working. She wakes up alone in her crib after falling asleep in my arms and looses her shit so I think its time for her to fall asleep in her crib. Today was the first day of putting her in her crib and rubbing her back, singing, patting her butt, scratching her back, and holding her down. I was successful for 3 of her naps today. She cried her eyes out but I was right there with her and she knew that. She was like a little fish out of water. She would flail and flap around like crazy and then all of sudden her eyes would close and she would be calm so I would slow down my rubbing and then all of a sudden she would just flail again and start screaming. She finally figured it out and fell asleep. I hope this works for us. I think so far its what I need to do cause letting her scream in her crib feels like a form of child abuse. Also when I talk to strangers I've noticed they always ask you how your baby is sleeping. I kinda joke around and tell people she has more important things to do than sleep and people ALWAYS say you should let her cry it out. Its weird like this happened maybe 3 times last week when I would talk to random people. I dunno maybe I'm missing something? Tonight was the first time I put her asleep when she was awake. Normally I nurse her to sleep and its really never been a problem but tonight after she ate she was wide awake. I wanted Blake to have a try at it but he lost patience in 10 min so I finished up. In total it took 35 min to put her down. It's a lot but I felt good knowing I was there the whole time. I'm trying so hard to find that patience and just focus on what I'm doing because I know it makes me a better mom but sometimes it's pretty darn hard. Just hoping Blake can find his dad patience cause I could really use some help at night especially after doing it all alone for a week he was gone. Anyways enough about sleeping. We'll see what happens. Hopefully this will work and we will get some long stretches of sleep.

I took some photos the other day of me and Olive in our matching stripes. I know I'm so lame. Every time I get dressed I notice I always dress Olive the same. If I get dressed first and am feeling like wearing green I will always choose something green for her too since that is my mood. Most of the time its fine but the other day we just looked ridiculous. Don't worry, we didn't leave the house.


Stella and Olive matching too. Poor Stella just gets tortured by Olive.