Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The bad and the good

Just when I thought the hitting thing was just her getting pissed at me she actually hit another kid. We went to story time today with Jessica and Amelie and usually the kids grab at each other and they do kid things. Olive never really has too much interest except she pokes at her mouth here and there which is weird but totally harmless. But today she actually tried to hit her. Not like the normal grabby poke around at you but like an actual hit. First off I was totally embarrassed, I mean hello can I not control my child??? I felt awful like Olive is going to be that kid that no one wants to hang out with cause she will beat you up. I know I'm totally overreacting but having this happen outside the house and to someone else makes me just plain sad. I just feel a bit out of control and no matter how normal this is it still sucks. I'm trying so hard to be patient with her and really explain to her each and every time she hits that its not right and sometimes I feel like she is getting it but other times I feel like she is giving me a total fuck you mom face. My patience is being tested. After the week of being sick and now this I feel so burnt out. I wish more than anything I could have a little break. I've been too tired to go to kickboxing at night. After cooking dinner, cleaning up all the toys, putting Olive to bed, and doing the dishes there isn't really an ounce of energy left to want to workout. I know if I want it I just have to find it in me but I just can't. I wish I could go in the mornings when I feel refreshed but the classes aren't early enough and Blake has to get to work or go surf. I've thought about going on runs in the morning and maybe that is something I need to do, just to get out and have some time alone. Even if it's just 30 min it would be helpful. I need to start looking out for myself and being a bit more selfish.
I know there has been a lot of bitching and moaning lately but it happens. Life is tricky sometimes. On a happy note we finally checked out the farmers market near our house today and it was AMAZING! We religiously went to the thursday farmers market in costa mesa but ever since we switched our swim days we haven't been able to go back since it conflicts. I've been putting off checking this one out cause it looked small but it turns out it has all of my favorite vendors from the other one we went to and a whole bunch of other fun stuff that is even better. Tons and tons of organic goodies! It was such a treat. We roamed around and Olive played with the rocks and dirt. We stopped at the guitar player and Olive danced around a bit. I can't wait to start going weekly, it is by far one of my favorite things to do and it works out perfectly right after story time. I also ended up finding my Billy ball flowers that I was looking for at this incredible wholesale flower mart in santa ana. Slowly getting all the details for the party.
Here is a little iphone dump from the last few days....

Ok I sorta want my boobs back now.

1 comment:

  1. she is so sweet looking though! I hope it is just a phase and she chills out soon. Go take some momma time!