Its only 9am and I'm trying to shake off this morning. Its far too early to be this grumpy but I am. I slept like shit and was having crazy cramping last night. The baby was moving around a lot last night but it felt really low like it was in my bladder and it actually hurt. Then on top of that I was super nauseous. I feel a little better this morning but still like I'm going to puke. I tried to take a bath last night and relax but there was an awful smell coming from my toilet. No there wasn't a poop or anything in it, its the water or something. It was so strong or at least it felt that way that I couldn't enjoy my bath. That and the drain is broken so it was draining. So I got out and cleaned the toilet, not exactly relaxing. Just wasn't a fun night. Then Blake and I got into an annoying talk which is still bothering me. I'm sure its just my overly sensitive hormones. I think there should be a place called pregnant island where you can go and sit on a hammock on a beach and get served cupcakes and milkshakes all day. That and massages every few hours. Yep I think I have the right idea.
Going to attempt to leave the house today. I got in my car yesterday and pulled out only to find they had blocked off the entire street to pave and there was no way out. So glad I wasn't giving birth or something. I just wanted to go to the market to get a few things so I could bake. Its the one thing I know will relax me. I'm not really supposed to be driving around alone but I figure a quick little trip to the market will be good for me.
Music has always been really important to me and this song has been playing over and over in my head the last few months. Jonah is by far my favorite musician in the world, anyone who knows me knows this and has been dragged to show after show. There is something about him and his music that has helped me in every single part of my life. Its incredibly honest and at times goofy which is the perfect mix for me. I thought this was the most appropriate version to post as there are 2 kids that get up at the end (I guess one is his goddaughter) Anyways, this song is about doing your own thing cause its what you want. It's not in a punk rock fuck you way its just about the way you wanna live your life. I think moving to suburbia and trying to fit into this suburban life has just made me think. Its not me. I'm not happy here and I don't think it has to be this way because its supposed to or because its the way a lot of people we know have done it. We all have our own version of happiness and what we want, how we want to raise our kids, etc and I'm definitely in that struggle now where I'm trying to figure it out.
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