1 week old

When you talk babies with people all they can talk about is their birth and the pain and the bla bla bla. Um why the hell don't people mention how hard it is to be a parent? I keep hearing it gets easier as time goes on but shit this is hard work. I've been driving myself nuts with deciding on how I want to breastfeed, how to pacify, co- sleeping, and all those lovely things. I've gotten some amazing advice from people and read a ton about everything but in the end all babies are different so what works for one person may not work for Olive. I've established breastfeeding and feel confident about it although she is a very sleepy feeder. I've pulled out every trick in the book to keep her awake and I'm sure in time she will get better. She LOVES the boob and not just to eat but to pacify. After a big feeding she will flail around like she is starving and looking for my boob. I resisted giving it to her for a few days but lately I'm thinking it might be best just to let her have it and become soothed.

I've been reading a ton about eating on demand and I don't quite know if its for me. I like structure but I'm also open for a little wiggle room so I'm just trying to find my balance with that. Of course the most important thing is that she is getting enough food but I also want her to be happy. The first few days were really hard just trying to get the hang of it and dealing with chapped nipples but luckily they have healed and I'm slowly finding my groove.

We were having troubles with nights. She had no interest in going to sleep and would just cry and cry. The only thing that would soothe her was boob and she ended up sleeping on our bed which we had never intended on. It was great for feeding since I would literally roll over but I was so worried we would roll over her. We have a co- sleeper and I was really hoping to get her in that but the first few nights she wasn't having it. Talk about frusterating. I tried not to get frustrated but you cant help but just meltdown at that point. I know its totally first time parenting things but at 1am when you have a screaming newborn you can't calm down nothing matters but how awful and helpless you feel. I had a nice talk with Blakes cousin yesterday who has a little one a few months older and she reassured me it gets easier. She gave me some great tips and things that worked for her. So last night at bed time we put her in a really tight swaddle, turned her on her side, and shhhhhhh'd the crap out of her. Thank you Happiest Baby on the Block. Fucking genius! We had watched the dvd before Olive was born but it honestly doesn't make sense till you have a screaming baby. We also added some white noise since a few people have suggested that and it worked like a charm. She was out and I actually had to wake her 3 hours later for a feeding. I've read you can let them go 4 hours at nightime but I figured my body woke me up for a reason so I might as well feed. So after that feeding we did the 3 s's and she went back to sleep. Its incredible. She would start to move around a little bit so I put the white noise closer and a bit louder and that calmed her right back to sleep. I sooooo hope this works tonight. It felt so good to get a solid few hours of sleep. Of course everyday is different so we'll see.

Besides all the newborn worries we are having so much fun with her. When she is awake she is so alert and looks all around with her big blues eyes. She scans the house and looks at everything. She smiles all the time. I have no idea why people say newborns can't smile. She makes the funniest faces ever. Sometimes I just stare at her and wonder how the hell she fit in my belly. All her little twitches totally make sense now and her hiccups. Its just insane. I am so excited to see what she will do everyday and even in a week how much she has changed. And now for more photos..