poop and cookies

I keep thinking I am going to wake up to my water breaking, I have no idea why but I keep having this vision of it happening. But then again the reality is my water probably won't break on its own since my moms didn't and according to my doula you birth like your mom. I actually kinda want it to break, I think it would be interesting to see what it feels like.

Last night was a pretty shitty nights sleep. I know I did sleep cause I had some weird ass dreams about changing a babies diaper. This time the baby was actually a girl (every time I dream of a baby its a boy) and she was really tall and my mom told me I had to change her diaper but I had never done it before so I was so confused cause she kept moving around and there was massive amounts of poop. I dunno it was gross but I think it just goes along with my fear that I've actually never changed a diaper. All of my dreams that involve a baby have included changing a diaper as the main goal of the dream. What is wrong with me? Maybe its cause I always have to pee at night? So ya sleeping last night sucked. Usually I can at least fall asleep but I couldn't even do that. I listened to two of my hypnobabies tracks and those didn't even relax me which is very strange cause I can usually pop one of those on and I will be out. Maybe it was the 15 cookies I ate before bed?? I was in my baking mode yesterday and I'm sure it will continue today.