Sadly we had a really fun day planned for tomorrow. We had swim in the morning and then we planned to head out to Menifee with some friends to hang at the splash park but I just emailed and canceled. Looks like it will be movies. pj's, and Olive's first taste of Matzo Ball soup. She has never taken medicine before so I'm hoping she doesn't get a fever and we can cure it with some jew food!
We had a pretty good day considering Olive wasn't 100%. We woke up and ran some errands and she was pretty fine with that. Then we drove out to Long Beach to meet up with Evan for lunch which was really fun. Olive was happy to see Evan and was in a good mood. As soon as we got in the car she just lost it. Full on holding her breath crying so I reached back and held her hand the entire 30 min drive home. If I let go to get the feeling back in my arm she just screamed bloody murder. Poor baby just wanted mama. I talked to Kristin the entire drive home which seriously brightened my entire day and made the numb arm less noticeable. That girl makes me happy. Why the hell does Portland have to be so damn far away? The last few days have been a little bla and today after talking to her I kinda got that pick me up that I needed. Friends like that are the best. Now if I could just find some girlfriends that live near me we would be all good! I swear everyone I hang out with lives at least an hour away. It's insane. It's so hard having my mom friends so far away. I know I talk about it all the time but it sucks. I just want to be able to hang out with them all the time but the drive is a lot to do more than once a week. I love that we all make the effort to do fun stuff and hang out even with the distance but it would be nice to have some moms that are close. I hung out with one mom friend a few times and I really liked her and I thought she liked me but for some reason we haven't hung out in a long time. I made a few efforts but nothing. Maybe she is busy? I dunno, or maybe she thinks I'm lame. Sometimes I feel like this isn't my life, like it's this temporary place and I'm going to go back to my old life soon. Not sure what my old life is but this just doesn't feel like it. I don't feel settled at all. Yesterday while Olive was napping I was resting on the couch. I ended up falling asleep and I was starting to wake up and I heard the train and for a few min I pictured myself on my couch in Brooklyn. It was weird like the feeling, the smell, the noise and evertything was Brooklyn. I was awake enough to know it wasn't but it just felt like that for a bit and it was nice. I talk about missing NY a lot but I don't even know if that is my answer. I wish I had an answer but I don't. Instead I just bitch and moan on here. I really am trying to make an effort to make this my home and my life but it's hard. The pieces are quite fitting together and I don't know why or what to do to make it work.
Time to snuggle up with Olive and hope we can all get some sleep.