and i'm done

People always say there is that point in pregnancy where you just hit the wall and are done being pregnant. I felt like the last few weeks I was getting there but I was still feeling ok. Well until yesterday when I hit the point of no return where I am officially done, don't want to be pregnant anymore. I woke up yesterday feeling pretty shitty and not rested at all. Blake wanted to go down to the beach which was fine with me but everything was irritating me, EVERYTHING! I was picking fights with Blake about everything and anything. I don't even know why but I was just annoyed. My body was just completely uncomfortable and I was crampy and tired and emotional. So many things at once that its hard to put on a happy smile. So I feel like yesterday I just about lost it. Being at the beach was nice, but I just didn't feel like myself and I hate more than anything being crabby around Blake's family but in all honesty there was nothing I could do I just didn't feel good.

Yesterday was a really rough night too. Sleeping is now impossible although I'm having dreams so I must be getting some sleep in there? I can't seem to find a comfortable position to lay so no matter what my body parts just fall asleep and I wake up feeling like I ran a marathon, just sore and stiff. And peeing that's another thing. I think I got up every 20 min for the first few hours then it finally got better. Too much water before bed is a bad idea. I spent from about 3am to 5am writing emails to my mom and listening to my neighbors fight. The funny part is my mom writes back, I guess that is where I get my lovely sleeping schedule. So my neighbors are a total mess. This is the second time I've heard them yell at each other. They sound young but I was too lazy to look out the window. Its mostly the girl crying and telling him to leave in a very creative way. Then he calls her a bitch over and over. Then they yell about stupid shit for awhile and it always ends with him standing outside spitting and slamming his car door. Its kinda like my own Telenovela. I've thought about calling the police but as long as its just yelling its really not a big deal and its way more entertaining then checking my facebook at 4am. It kinda takes me back to living in a city. When we lived in Brooklyn we lived across the street from a bar so every weekend you were guaranteed something entertaining, usually some dumb girl crying in the street about a guy or people in really deep drunk conversations about art or politics (those were always my favorite)

Blake has some weird cold and throat sick so I'm really hoping that I don't get it. I've told myself I won't so I'm hoping I can trick my mind! After my shoot tomorrow I am going to take it easy and just be pretty mellow. My mom is coming down next week to help me get organized and put all my shower stuff away so that will be really helpful. I really have no energy to do it alone. The whole nesting thing is bullshit, who the hell has the energy to nest?

After all that bitching I'll end on a happy note. I made a birthday cake for my brother in laws fiance the other night. Baking makes me happy and calms me for some reason. I have a feeling there could be a lot of treats being made in the next few weeks.