Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Just when I thought I had this whole breastfeeding thing down and was feeling good and not getting too leaky or engorged I noticed that for the last 2 weeks or so Olive has only had green poop. I noticed it but I wasn't concerned cause she always has the occasional one but I haven't seen a yellow one in those 2 weeks so tonight I realized that it has to be a problem. I remember my lactation consultant saying something about green poop and a high amount of lactose. I did some research (seriously what did we do before the internet) and I think I'm right that she is getting way too much of the low fat milk and not enough of the hind milk. Errrr. So now I feel like I'm back to the beginning again. I really felt like I was letting her feed for a good amount of time on each side and was really just going with her cues but I guess its not working out. I have no idea why its starting now?? It makes sense since I do notice she gets hungry quite often but she doesn't seem fussy or gassy at all to me so maybe I'm catching it before it gets too bad. Seriously this breastfeeding thing is hard work! Being a mom is seriously the craziest shit I've ever been through. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry cause its such a massive responsibility. Not just raising a baby in the right way ( I haven't even thought that far) but being so responsible for feeding her and keeping her healthy. I feel like I've done everything in my power to give her everything the right way and the best way and its still not always enough (stupid green poop) but I just feel awful like I'm gonna screw her up somehow. I know she is gaining weight and super healthy but I can't help but feel scared all the time. I seriously love this little bugger so much that I want to do it all right!